Before I Die, I Will..

I’m sure everyone has an unwritten bucket list. Just some things that, if you think about, you decide “hm, I’d like to do that at some point”.

But, most of the time, those thoughts fade and they forget what they want to do. Maybe because they are busy with their job, their family – anything. Regardless, most of what we want to do/try gets brushed under the rug and forgotten.

That’s why, my reader, I want to push you to remove the rug.

If you discover some thing that you would like to do, especially if you think it will make you happy,

Do it.

I know, I know. It’s easier said than done. But, at least try not to forget what you want to do. Don’t get lost in your life. A good-paying job may allow you to buy a lot of stuff, sure. But, in the end, you want to look over your life and know that you truly lived. With enough memories that could make you live twenty more years.

Make a list, and title it “Before I die, I will…” and fill in the blank.

Hell, fill in the blank a hundred times.

Fill it will a million things!

Do what makes you happy.

And please, please, please…

Don’t get lost in a life that makes you unhappy. 

Music Unites

I’ve always been a firm believer that music can heal, change a mood, and better even the worst of situations.

With that being said, the current song in the presence of my headphones if “Weight of the World” feat. Blaque Keyz, one of the fourteen songs on Jon Bellion’s album The Human Condition.

This song hits me hard. It’s hard to think sometimes that those who you look up to go through rough times too. I idolize Jon Bellion. I saw him as invincible, untouchable even. I never would’ve thought that this successful person could feel as alone as I do writing this.

It didn’t cross my mind that I would have a connection deeper than “I love your music, you inspire me to want to write music”. I never expected that he too has had a battle with demons, and almost lost. I would’ve never guessed that he thought (or even still sometimes thinks) that the world would be improved without his life.

So, this one is for you, Mr. Bellion.

Because of you, I do not feel so alone.

And to you, dear reader,
You are smart.
You are important.
You will do great things.
You matter.

And I am thankful for you.

The girl, the Friend, and the Bridge

This memory has been haunting me for almost a year now.

A little while back, I decided that before I graduated high school. I was to go bridge jumping. I knew so many people who had done it and lived to tell the tale, and I was determined to do it. After a while, I got a few friends to realize that they wanted to do it too.

Now, it was all talk (or so I thought).

Before the demise of my senior year, we discovered the bridge. We had a one other person who has been a lifeguard at the local beach for years. At first, I felt nothing, I was ready to do it and get it over with, but my amigo was pretty scared but still wanted to do it.

When we finally jumped, I felt the fear in my stomach. I expected it to be a few seconds of falling and a splash of cold success.

One… Two… Three… Four… Fiv-splash.

That was longer than expected, but I did it. And I was happy. But, I thought that since I did it once, I could do it again without hesitation.

I climbed back up, looked down, went to jump, and slipped.

One… Two… Three… Four… Fiv- 

but instead of a splash..

Smack.

The sound of my face and stomach impaling the water still echoes when I think about it.


I surface with the lack of feeling of my nose and stomach. I believed I was dead for a second, and almost started to drown. I couldn’t see straight.

I climbed out of the water and threw up. Not shocked.


To this day, the thought haunts me. I feel like I could’ve died. I feel a little dead because of it, a little numb.

I’ve had many sleepless nights because of it, and as someone who never feared heights almost vomits at the idea of a any kind of drop.

Sometimes I think some things shouldn’t be put on bucket lists.

 

Oh, you’re here. Welcome.

Here’s a warm welcome from ALifeOfALiving

If you’re reading this, that probably means that you either
a.) Stumbled upon my blog on complete accident
b.) Were going through Word Press and magically found me
or
c.) Googled something and thought that I fit the criteria of what you were/are searching for.

If there is another way you found me, I’d love to hear it.

Anyways.

If you’re wondering what my purpose is for this blog is, you know as much as I do. I heard about it from a prof and was told it’s a healthy way to let out some feelings. As I am fairly angsty, this may help.

The things you should probably know about me before I begin are listed here:
a.) My voice is not typically one to be heard
b.) Any photo I attach to these posts are mine
c.) Titles of things are not my forte
and
d.) If you have a question for me, I’ll try to respond as soon as humanly possible.

Thank you in advance, for lending me your ears.

xx