Before I Die, I Will..

I’m sure everyone has an unwritten bucket list. Just some things that, if you think about, you decide “hm, I’d like to do that at some point”.

But, most of the time, those thoughts fade and they forget what they want to do. Maybe because they are busy with their job, their family – anything. Regardless, most of what we want to do/try gets brushed under the rug and forgotten.

That’s why, my reader, I want to push you to remove the rug.

If you discover some thing that you would like to do, especially if you think it will make you happy,

Do it.

I know, I know. It’s easier said than done. But, at least try not to forget what you want to do. Don’t get lost in your life. A good-paying job may allow you to buy a lot of stuff, sure. But, in the end, you want to look over your life and know that you truly lived. With enough memories that could make you live twenty more years.

Make a list, and title it “Before I die, I will…” and fill in the blank.

Hell, fill in the blank a hundred times.

Fill it will a million things!

Do what makes you happy.

And please, please, please…

Don’t get lost in a life that makes you unhappy. 

Max Ehrmann’s Got a Point (and a Poem)

My psych professor mentioned the following poem during my last lecture, and I read through it several times to really take it in for all that it is. If you have time, and it is fairly long, I suggest you read it. Or, maybe save it as a bookmark and read it when you can.

But, when (and if) you read it, make sure you have enough time to break it down and read it wholeheartedly. 

“Desiderata”

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Undercover Artists (#1)

One of my favorite things to do is look through the musical.ly or youtube apps and find low-key, really good songs. I type in the lyrics that musical.ly reveals and find what I’m looking for.

My latest discovery is Tatiana Manaois. Don’t ask me how to pronounce her last name, I have no clue (If you’re reading this, Tatiana, I’m sorry).

Tatiana is a youtube artist that made her way to musical.ly with songs like “Beauty Sings” and “Helplessly”. Goods songs. I recommend.

She has a handful of original songs that are, in fact, iTunes downloadable. Each of which, I enjoy.

Her songs include:

B.O.M.O
Like You
Helplessly
Beauty Sings
 (There’s a lot more)

And she also has quite a few covers to check out.

Tatiana has a nice sound to me, and I can’t help but listen to her songs on repeat all day when I find a new one.

If you’re looking for a new artist to obsess over, I’ll leave her channel link below.

Happy Streaming!

Tatiana Manaois’s Channel

Look Good, Feel Good

I am a strong believer in the “dress for success” rule.

I’ve never been one to be daring with my outfits, but I envy the people who are. I wish I could have the confidence to wear what made me feel good. I mean, hey. Maybe it would improve my days.

Because I’m not into being very dressy, my idea of looking nice is jeans and a non-stained shirt. Most of the time, I stick to leggings or sweatpants. Because I’m comfy, I’m pretty okay. (Today I wore a blanket scarf, just because it’s a blanket on hand if needed.

There are some days where I wish I was into being more dressy, because I think it will improve how I feel. Maybe it’ll make me feel hot enough to not panic when I have to give a presentation, or not pass out when someone holds awkward eye contact for too long.

You know the kind of people I’m talking about.

Anyways, I’m writing about this topic today to entice you.

dare you, dear reader, to not be like me. Wear what makes you feel good. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Wear those khaki pants that you’re hiding in your closet next to the shrine you have dedicated to a celebrity. Clean out your drawers for that favorite, sassy top that shows your shoulder. Dress to make yourself feel good.

I dare you.

Personality Above Instagram Likes

This topic has been somewhat bothering me for a while.

As a person who gets between sixteen and fifty likes (on a very good day, with very good content), I know that “likes” make you feel good.

“Oh, twenty-three people really like my face!”
“Fifty-four likes for a mere dog picture???”
“I JUST BROKE SIXTY FOR MY PICTURE OF THE MOON!!”

I get it, you get it. We all get it.

That is not my issue.

If it were up to me, I would choose the most kind-hearted people to gift them with hundreds of likes. And, I do. I blessed only the people I feel are good people with my insta-love. That may not make much of a difference, but, it makes me feel like I’m somewhat telling these people “you’re a good person, keep being you.”

Most of the people I follow are the one’s I believe are good. A like for you, a like for you. Nice. But, I do follow some people who fit the “other” category.

If you’re picking up what I’m putting down, you probably have seen this before. If not, I’ll set the scene.

Here’s me, scrolling, looking for funny comics, cute selfies, dogs (times a thousand), superher- “Oh look, this person’s selfie broke two-hundred. If only they were as pretty on the inside as they seem to be on the outside.”

I’m talking about the people who comment things like “kill yourself” on other people’s wall, or call girls slut for posting a tasteful picture of them at the beach. The people who’s amount of likes have gone to their head and believe the facade that “so many people like me, so the awful things I do don’t count. Yay me.”

Wrong.

Here’s a lesson,

Your like count doesn’t always mean you’re beautiful on the inside. Be a good person and make those likes real. Make them count for something. Gain your followers by being kind hearted, not because you’re a “savage”. 

At the end of the day, being a “savage” isn’t going to gain you real friends.

 

Music Unites

I’ve always been a firm believer that music can heal, change a mood, and better even the worst of situations.

With that being said, the current song in the presence of my headphones if “Weight of the World” feat. Blaque Keyz, one of the fourteen songs on Jon Bellion’s album The Human Condition.

This song hits me hard. It’s hard to think sometimes that those who you look up to go through rough times too. I idolize Jon Bellion. I saw him as invincible, untouchable even. I never would’ve thought that this successful person could feel as alone as I do writing this.

It didn’t cross my mind that I would have a connection deeper than “I love your music, you inspire me to want to write music”. I never expected that he too has had a battle with demons, and almost lost. I would’ve never guessed that he thought (or even still sometimes thinks) that the world would be improved without his life.

So, this one is for you, Mr. Bellion.

Because of you, I do not feel so alone.

And to you, dear reader,
You are smart.
You are important.
You will do great things.
You matter.

And I am thankful for you.

The girl, the Friend, and the Bridge

This memory has been haunting me for almost a year now.

A little while back, I decided that before I graduated high school. I was to go bridge jumping. I knew so many people who had done it and lived to tell the tale, and I was determined to do it. After a while, I got a few friends to realize that they wanted to do it too.

Now, it was all talk (or so I thought).

Before the demise of my senior year, we discovered the bridge. We had a one other person who has been a lifeguard at the local beach for years. At first, I felt nothing, I was ready to do it and get it over with, but my amigo was pretty scared but still wanted to do it.

When we finally jumped, I felt the fear in my stomach. I expected it to be a few seconds of falling and a splash of cold success.

One… Two… Three… Four… Fiv-splash.

That was longer than expected, but I did it. And I was happy. But, I thought that since I did it once, I could do it again without hesitation.

I climbed back up, looked down, went to jump, and slipped.

One… Two… Three… Four… Fiv- 

but instead of a splash..

Smack.

The sound of my face and stomach impaling the water still echoes when I think about it.


I surface with the lack of feeling of my nose and stomach. I believed I was dead for a second, and almost started to drown. I couldn’t see straight.

I climbed out of the water and threw up. Not shocked.


To this day, the thought haunts me. I feel like I could’ve died. I feel a little dead because of it, a little numb.

I’ve had many sleepless nights because of it, and as someone who never feared heights almost vomits at the idea of a any kind of drop.

Sometimes I think some things shouldn’t be put on bucket lists.

 

Oh, you’re here. Welcome.

Here’s a warm welcome from ALifeOfALiving

If you’re reading this, that probably means that you either
a.) Stumbled upon my blog on complete accident
b.) Were going through Word Press and magically found me
or
c.) Googled something and thought that I fit the criteria of what you were/are searching for.

If there is another way you found me, I’d love to hear it.

Anyways.

If you’re wondering what my purpose is for this blog is, you know as much as I do. I heard about it from a prof and was told it’s a healthy way to let out some feelings. As I am fairly angsty, this may help.

The things you should probably know about me before I begin are listed here:
a.) My voice is not typically one to be heard
b.) Any photo I attach to these posts are mine
c.) Titles of things are not my forte
and
d.) If you have a question for me, I’ll try to respond as soon as humanly possible.

Thank you in advance, for lending me your ears.

xx